Ragnar (whispy_thing) wrote,
Ragnar
whispy_thing

  • Mood:
‘Twas the dark o’ night. Not a sound could be heard, besides the chainsaw massacre in the thread below this one and the gentle snores of a slumbering psychopath, all snug up in his little tree-hole.

But ‘lo! What’s this ?... ? A question mark!

And that? A koala ninja, seeking revenge!

Darting from one tree from another masterfully, scoring a bullseye everytime with her masterful and mind-boggling self-throwing slash-using skills. Only a 1337 one like her can do that without getting a headache.

Finally, she reaches her target; a small rural house in the middle of Iceland. She spies a boy and his dog, watching the ever manly discovery channel; until suddenly, they notice something’s amiss!

“What happen?”, the confused teenager asks the dog.

“Somebody set up us the bomb.”, the dog says in a serious tone of barking.

Suddenly, the TV starts going whacko with snow, lowering the temperature of the room to an uncomfortable birr. =(

“We get signal.”, says the doggy.

“What!”, exclaims a confused Icelander. Or he’s asking. I don’t know.

“Main screen turn on,” quotes doggy the Kirk.

On the TV’s screen, a koala ninja can be seen! That explains the kewl.

“It’s you!!”, double exclaims the boy.

“How are you gentlemen!”, states the koala in a questioning manner. “All your base are belong to us! You are on the way to destruction!”

“What you say!”, whines the possibly deaf kid.

“You have no chance to survive make your time.”, continues the ninja. “HA HA HA HA ....”, she laughs in all caps.

“=(“, says the boy.

“t(°.°t)”, says the doggy.

And then, the house goes explode.





In the distance, a koala tastes the sweet dish of revenge a la frankophone, with a touch of orange and a big can of coca cola. Without doubt, she’d make a fine pirate, if she hadn’t been a ninja.



Meanwhile; somewhere in Canada.

“It’s cold up here =(.”, said the Amy of sunny California.

“Eh, f’cor blimer, s’not’s t’chill, justa bit o’ d’lowa side, eh.”, responded the Amy of sunny Canada.

“I know the cure for that!”, states a worriedly excited Martin. Chris however saves the day with a 4-by-4, so that no one has to deal with random blurps of fireballs.

“I’ve got a better idea,” says Chris, as he pockets Martin with a handy, dandy space-rocket. “To the sun!”

“Yes!”, goes Amy. BUT WHICH ONE!? IT CONFUSES ):

“But how will we survive the intense heat of Sol?”, asks the other Amy, further confusing the writer. ):

“Here’s the logic!”, says Chris, “We’re all cold right now. So when we reach the sun, we’ll be warm! It’s the perfect balance! What could go wrong!?!?” Indeed! Martin casting random violent spells while sleeping does not count for a mission failure.

Agreeing that this is a pretty dang good idea, the group climbs up into the space rocket missile machine, only to be greeted by the pilot.

“’lo! =)”, says the writer-pilot.

“Wait, whoa. You’re the pilot?”, asks the Amy.

“si lol”, responds the writer.

“Oh. Oh, Hell no.”, says the other Amy, before departing with the other other Amy, and the Martin and also the Chris.

“o wel soot urselves!!111 i wil hav PHUN ALUN I DOEN NEED U GUYS 4 DAT!!!!11”, said the perfectly calm and collected writer, as he gracefully launched his rocket into space.



A few days later, in space.


Inside the missile’s cockpit, the young writer enjoys his cruise towards the sun, and makes sure to make the most out of his sun-blinded eyesight; when suddenly, a Koala ninja lands on the windshield!

“YOU!”, gasps the writer!


Dun dun dun!


The end. No damned continues. For the sake of all humanity, no more continues. I beg you. ;-;





Credits:


Written by: :monkey:
Assistant writer: :dragon:
Had nothing to do with this: Martin
Actually hit Martin over the head with a 4x4 as an experiment: Ragnar
Thankfully doesn’t remember said 4x4 incident thanks to cranium damage: Martin
Holder of the longest ever ever EVER title in the credit list for reals and other such title-longering things: Koala (aka; Ninja)
Girl that didn’t let me use her persona in this fiction because I couldn’t reach her: AMY (but which!?!?!)
The rest: those guys.
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